Friends With Benefits
by chessqueen
Summary: As Jack and Katie start to get closer, Katie begins pulling away. Why?
1. Default Chapter

"I guess you win," Katie said smiling in a way that she hoped was seductive. If someone had told her a few months ago that she'd be sitting in JR's across from Jack McCallister, she'd sworn they'd just smoked some good shit, then she would have asked for a hit. Jack, with his dark good looks, was a god at Truman. She, on the other hand, was definitely not one of the chosen people.

"About that," he began shyly, his face turning red.

"A deal's a deal McCallister."

They'd each had a day to find out all they could about each other. After bribing her stoner friends with chips and pizza, he now knew what her favorite color, movie, and flowers were. And her? She'd felt too self-conscious to approach his friends and ask them questions about him. But then again, she didn't have to, she knew all she needed to know about Jack McCallister – he was the nicest guy on the planet. Of course someone like him could never fall for someone like her. So she'd contented herself with being his friend, a friend with benefits. Naturally, he hadn't taken her up on her offer. But she was willing to do it, just to get close to him.

"Anyway," Jack said as he ran his hand through his hair. "I should be going. I can walk you home if you'd like."

"That's okay."

A troubled look flashed across his face. Katie held her breath.

"It's no bother. In fact," he began then stopped. He cleared his throat. "I realized the other day I don't know where you live. I don't know anything about your family either, and neither do your friends."

"There's nothing to tell." She hoped she sounded nonchalant, breezy, unperturbed. But she had to get out of there. Quickly, she rose and slipped on her coat. As she edged out of the booth, Jack jumped up.

"Wait." By the time he'd pulled on his jacket, Katie was almost out the front door of JR's.

Outside, the night air was crisp and stingingly chilly. A light snow fell, blanketing everything in a white that shone like jewels, a byproduct of the light from the streetlamps reflecting off the snow.

"Katie, what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, whatever it is, it can't be that bad," he said softly as he placed his hands on her waist and drew her close.

For a moment she allowed herself to be lost in his arms, his scent. He smelled clean and soapy – fresh, unlike the guys she usually hung out with who either smelled like pot, cigarettes, or air freshener.

That's the thing, she chided herself. He's not like the losers you hang out with.

"I'm not one of your projects McCallister," she said, jerking away from him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just forget it," Katie said walking away.

"No," Jack said grabbing her arm.

"Leave me the fuck alone. I'm not your sex-crazed, pothead mother or your dorky, asthmatic brother. I don't need you" You may not need him, but you want him, a voice said inside her head.

She'd gone too far. Of course that had been her intention. But the look on his face, a look of anger mingled with pain pierced her heart nonetheless.

"Jack," she said softly as she reached out to touch his arm.

"Whatever," he said turning away from her. He made his way down the street leaving her alone on the sidewalk, snow falling around her.


	2. Chapter 2

"You have a real way with the ladies. You know that?" Marcus said as he clamped his hands on Jack's shoulders. After a busy night, Jr's had finally quieted down, only three customers remained – two college students sitting at a rear table discussing Heidegger and an old guy drinking coffee. Marcus had just finished sweeping the floor. Jack, for his part, stood at the front counter filling salt shakers while sixties Motown played in the background. Mr. Ride, Marcus' father, was in the kitchen scrubbing the grill.

"Tell me about it," Jack said then sighed. Courtney, Missy, and Katie were all pissed at him.

"Women," Marcus said shrugging. "I can't believe Missy is mad at you for moving on. Then again, this is Missy Belknap we're talking about."

"And she broke up with me! We hadn't been apart a week before she hooked up with Randy. God, I hate that guy," Jack said shaking his head in disgust.

"Well bro," Marcus said as he filled the straw dispenser, "I think Courtney's starting to come around. You did the right thing telling her about that creep Nate."

"I know, but I still feel horrible." When he'd first gone to Courtney about Nate, she'd accused him of trying to hook up with her. He couldn't deny he had some lingering feelings for her, but the more he got to know Katie, the more he was drawn to her. His emotions were out of control. First he'd been into Missy, then he'd been attracted to Courtney, then he'd recommitted himself to Missy, now he was falling for Katie. He needed a scorecard to keep track of his love life.

Still, he hadn't talked to Katie in a week. She'd really hurt him. It wasn't so much what she'd said as the act itself. It was hard enough for him to open up to people without the fear of them taking something so intimate and throwing it in his face. Other than Marcus and once with Missy, Katie was the only person he'd shared a part of himself with. Why, he kept asking himself. Why did she do it? 

"To tell you the truth Jack, I never really understood the Katie thing."

"What's there to understand?"

"She hangs with the burnouts, man and I know that's not your scene."

Jack knew where Marcus was coming from. A few months ago he hadn't even realized that he and Katie had been in a class together. She just hadn't been a part of his orbit; his universe had centered on JR's, track, his mother, Bobby, Missy, Marcus, and school. But hanging out with Katie had opened up a new world to him.

"Did you know Katie plays drums in a band?"

"I can't say that I did," Marcus said casually.

"That's my point. We have all these cliques at school that don't even talk to each other. The hip-hop kids don't talk to the Goth kids. The Goth kids don't talk to the jocks. The jocks don't talk to the smart kids. It just goes on and on."

"I'm not trying to dog Katie out; it's just that I never would have imagined you two together."

"I guess fate had other plans." Okay, so he didn't really believe in fate. But if those guys hadn't mugged him, he never would have injured his knee, and he never would have met Katie at the doctor's office.

He'd felt so isolated after the attack. Though everyone had tried to be understanding, there was no way they could truly understand what he had gone through. And after a while, everyone just wanted the old Jack back. Well, as hard as he tried, he couldn't go back to being the old Jack. Wasn't that why Missy had broken up with him? Katie, on the other hand, didn't ask or expect anything from him. He was free to "be" with her. To be what he didn't know, but he was free nevertheless.

As soon as his shift ended, Jack headed home. He'd only gotten a block from Jr's when he felt as if he were being followed. For the past few months, nightmares of the robbery haunted him. There was a moment when he could have broken free and ran from those guys, but he'd didn't. He froze, and he just couldn't forgive himself for that moment of weakness. Now, walking alone down the street, his stomach clinched, his skin became flush, and he began to sweat. Likewise, his mouth went dry, his heart started beating faster, and his pulse quickened.

Panic began to overtake him. His instinct was to run, but reason urged him to stay calm.

"Jack," a female voice called out in the dark. A moment later, Katie stepped out of the shadows.

He glanced at her but kept walking.

"Jack," she said again, grabbing for his arm.

"Leave me the fuck alone," he said over his shoulder.

She sighed loudly. "I deserved that. If it means anything to you, I'm sorry."

"It doesn't."

"Just hear me out."

"No."

"Jack!"

He stopped. There was something in her voice – something primal and desperate that made him pause.

Katie walked up to him and placed her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry," she said as she touched his hair. "You told me those things about your family in confidence and I threw them in your face. It wasn't right. It's just …." She dropped her arms.

'What?" he asked. They were standing under a streetlamp. Tonight, there was no snow on the ground and the temperature was a balmy thirty-nine degrees. A chill ran through him nonetheless and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Katie's eyes, usually a bright, clear blue even when she smoked, were now watery pools. The Katie he knew had an edge to her; the girl before him was vulnerable. She reminded him of a fish out of water flailing around, desperate for oxygen.

"There's a reason I don't talk about my family."


	3. Chapter 3

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Katie asked quietly. She had to tell him the truth. How she would find the strength, she didn't know. But if she didn't, she'd lose him. And as much as she joked about not wanting to be Jack McCallister's girlfriend, she'd come to depend on him.

"I guess we could go to my house," Jack said. He usually didn't bring people home with him for fear that his mother's sermonizing would bore them to death, but even a blind man could see that Katie was in trouble.

"Your mom won't mind you bringing some strange girl home?"

"She can be cool sometimes." As hard as it was for him to admit it, it was true. Unlike a lot of kids, he really did know he could come to his mother with anything. Granted he didn't want to, but he could.

Hart, being a college town, the street was peppered with students on their way to the bars. As they walked along, dodging one drunken frat boy after another, Katie was suddenly overcome with an impulse to grab Jack's hand. She didn't though. All those times she'd kissed him, practically rammed her tongue down his throat, and she was afraid to hold his hand. But for some reason, on this night, the thought of holding his hand seemed so much more intimate.

"So, how's it been going?" Jack asked in a rush.

"Okay," she said looking ahead into the darkness.

Neither said another word until they came upon a ramshackle frame house with a wraparound porch.

"Well, this is it," Jack said. "We can sit on the porch, if it's not too cold for you."

"No, it's perfect," Katie said then smiled. There was something about the night that made her want to be a part of it. "But can we sit on the roof?"

"Sure, there's a ladder against the house." Quietly they made their way past a cluster of pine trees.

"After you Dawson," Katie said. Carefully Jack climbed the ladder, and Katie followed behind. Upon reaching the roof's edge, Jack turned and offered Katie his hand. Finally they settled down, sitting side by side looking up at the clear, star strewn sky.

"My brother believes that astronomy holds the key to every living thing on the planet," Jack said.

"Mmmm, maybe he's right."

Although she didn't buy into religion, at times like this, when it was peaceful, she could almost believe in God. Almost.

"So," Jack said. "You wanted to talk."

"Not really, but I guess I owe you an explanation for why I've been acting so weird.

"I moved to Hart when I was twelve. My mom and I used to live in St. Louis."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but we had to move." She didn't want to tell him this. She didn't want him feeling sorry for her, and didn't want to be another statistic. She cleared her throat. "My father was … abusive. He never hit me, though he'd threaten to, but he did hit my mom."

Katie paused, waiting for Jack to say something, but he remained silent.

"One night they were arguing about a credit card bill. My dad had gotten a second card without telling my mother. Totally ran it up. When she got the bill, she saw all these charges for hotel rooms. They started arguing, and the next thing I knew I heard this crash. I ran into the living room; my mom was lying on the floor. My father had pushed her through a glass coffee table. She just lay there motionless while my father stood over her, kicking her.

"I was so scared. I thought he was going to kill her. In fact, he used to say 'Cheryl, you're going to make me kill you.' So I ran into the kitchen and called the police."

She stopped. She could feel her face heating up and her heart pounding in her chest. She felt fear every time she thought about that night, fear and embarrassment. She knew the abuse hadn't been her or her mother's fault, but she still felt shame nonetheless. Sometimes, in her daydreams, she'd rewrite her family history. Instead of being Katie from St. Louis, she was some prissy rich girl like Missy Belknap who lived in a beautiful Victorian house with a mother who baked cookies and a father who adored them both.

"Anyway," she continued. "The police came and hauled my father away. They tried to convince my mom to go to the hospital but she refused. As soon as they left, we grabbed what we could and stuffed it into garbage bags. We left that night, and we haven't been back since. I haven't even talked to my father since."

Jack didn't know what to say. 'Sorry' seemed stupid and inadequate. Instead, he scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her and drew her close. She, in turn, laid her head against his shoulder. The corduroy of his jacket was worn and smooth. He smelled clean and fresh like he always did.

"It's okay. You're safe now."

Katie sighed loudly. "There's more."

Jack braced himself. What he'd just heard had been horrific enough. He didn't want to imagine anything worse.

"So we moved to Hart, and my mom met this guy Ray. He seemed so nice," Katie said, her voice and mind drifting. "He'd buy her flowers, sing her songs, and take us to the movies. They got married, and he moved in. Then …. At first, I thought I was imagining it, reading too much into things.

"His hand would brush up against my body. He'd 'accidentally' walk in on me while I was in the bathroom. A few times, I woke up in the middle of the night to find him standing over me just staring." She shifted uncomfortably as a shiver ran down her spine. "That's why I don't talk about my family, why I'm always at a friend's house."

Jack drew her closer and began stroking her hair. She felt safe in his arms. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt that way, didn't know if she'd ever felt that way.

They sat like that for a while. Down the street, a dog barked; "A Love Supreme" wafted from the house next door. Suddenly Katie felt the urge to be one with Jack, to meld into him. Before she could lose her nerve, she turned and climbed onto his lap. Grabbing his head, she mashed her mouth against his.

She pulled away embarrassed. "Sorry," she said turning forward. "Do you hate me?"

"Of course not," he said wrapping his arms around her, then burying his head in her neck.

What now, they both asked themselves silently.


	4. Chapter 4

Katie lay on her back and stared at her friend Amy's black ceiling and walls. Against her better judgment, she'd confided in Jack McCallister. And that kiss, she thought as she turned on her side and buried her head in Amy's brother's pine green military issue sleeping bag, oh god. The mere thought of it made her cringe.

How is it that some stupid jock can make me feel this way, she silently asked the Gwen Stefani poster on Amy's wall. Granted McCallister was hot, and he had the softest lips of any guy she'd ever kissed, but the real reason she was so into him was that unlike the general population at Truman High, he'd taken an interest in her, he really seemed to care.

That said, she hadn't wanted to tell him about Ray, but she'd been so afraid of losing him. Why? Because she liked having Jack McCallister around. What a prissy-ass, girly reason, she chided herself as she punched her pillow. The thing was, he probably wouldn't be around for long.

"Katie," Amy groaned from her bed.

"Yeah."

"Wanna skip school and hang out at the lake."

"Sure."

Neither one made a move to get up, so Katie just laid there staring at the dust, books, and socks under Amy's bed. What now, she wondered.

"I can't believe the audacity of that man," Grace McCallister exclaimed as she stood at the kitchen counter reading the newspaper.

"Who?" Jack asked as he walked into the kitchen and headed toward the refrigerator. After he'd walked Katie to her friend Amy's house, he'd lain awake all night going over what she'd told him. He had to help her, but how?

"Do you even have to ask," Bobby said. He was sitting at the table, a bowl of cereal and a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in front of him.

"God, not Bush again," Jack said as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"The lies this administration tell are unconscionable. This country needs Hillary to run in 2008, no doubt about it. Is that all you're having for breakfast?" Grace asked gesturing toward the orange juice.

"Is that all you're having?" Jack replied pointing at the coffee.

Bobby snickered from behind his book.

"Uhh, I need to talk to you," Jack said suddenly.

Grace froze. She'd just been about to take a sip of her coffee when Jack uttered those fateful words. So her coffee cup lingered in midair as she stared at him dumbstruck.

At the sound of the words 'I need to talk to you' from Jack's mouth, Bobby flipped over his cereal bowl. Raisin Bran and 2 milk now lay in his lap.

"What?" Jack asked defensively. He looked at Grace and then Bobby.

"Nothing," Grace said as she finally laid her cup on the counter. "Bobby grab your things so I can drive you to Warren's house."

As Bobby rose, cereal slid down his lap. His pants wet, he goose-stepped out of the kitchen.

"So you want to talk."

"Yes. You see," Jack began. "I have this friend."

"A friend."

"This girl I know, she has this really creepy stepfather."

"Creepy?"

"He 'accidentally' walks in on her while she's in the bathroom. He watches her while she's sleeping. Stuff like that."

A chill ran down Grace's spine. "Has he touched her?"

Jack rammed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "His hand has brushed up against her."

Grace sighed. "This girl needs help."

"Does her mother know?"

"I don't think so."

"Someone needs to report this; I can go with you to the police or a school counselor if you'd like."

"No, I can handle this on my own."

Jack maneuvered his way through the halls of Truman. He nodded at a few people he knew, but didn't stop to chat. He was a man on a mission.

He had to find Courtney Benedict.

After canvassing the second floor hallway, he finally spotted her standing outside the art classroom. They hadn't really talked since the Nate incident, but thank God Marcus had stepped in to look out for her. When they saw each other though, she was always cordial, and that was what he was counting on.

As he approached her, the other students seemed to just disappear. It was as if they were in some weird parallel universe where only the two of them existed. Though he still found her attractive, it wasn't in the way he had when she'd first arrived in Hart. But more important than that, she was increasingly becoming someone he could trust.

"Hey."

"Hi," she said, smiling shyly as she shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. She was dressed in jeans and a white tunic blouse, her favorite orange-speckled, brown wool scarf wrapped around her neck.

"So …," Courtney said looking away, breaking their too-long, socially unacceptable gaze.

"I need a favor," Jack said in a rush.

"Oh." She didn't know what she'd expected him to say. Courtney, I want you; Courtney, I need you were out of the question, but 'I need a favor' just sounded so narcissistic and cold.

"I need Katie's address."

"Don't you already have it?"

"No. It's complicated, and I can't really explain, but I know you work in the main office."

"Look Jack, I can't."  
"I wouldn't ask you, if I didn't really need it."

Courtney felt her chest tighten. If Jack was putting himself out there, asking for help, then Katie must really be in trouble. She still had feelings for him. How could she not? He was handsome and intense. Just being around Jack you knew he was destined for greatness. But, he was also an enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a mystery. Complicated. And of course, he would move on with his life. She had, sort of. In her dreams though, she had hoped that he'd move on with her. Needless to say, the fact that Missy was her "friend," ruled that out. Another complication.

"Meet me outside the chem lab after fifth period."

"Thanks Courtney."


	5. Chapter 5

Jack sat in front of Katie's house, his hands in his lap. He knew what he was about to do was crazy, but he just couldn't stand by knowing she was being abused and do nothing. Sighing, he climbed out of his mother's Volvo, and made his way up the black asphalt walk to her house.

He rang the bell. A few seconds later the door opened. At once a feeling of unease washed over him. There was something about Ray, Katie's stepfather, which struck him as odd. But, he also came across as an average guy, one who went to work, provided for his family, and occasionally kicked back a few beers.

"Yeah?" he asked.

Well here goes, Jack thought. "My name is Jack McCallister, and I'm a friend of Katie's."

"And?"

Jack took a deep breath to steady himself. There was no turning back. Even if there was an out, he wouldn't take it. "I know what you're doing to her," he said with a bravado he didn't feel.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ray said taking a step forward.

Jack stood his ground. "What you're doing is against the law."

In an instant, Ray's face turned red, and a vain suddenly appeared in the middle of his forehead. He stepped back. At first Jack thought he was about to slam the door in his face, but with a rapid movement, Ray cocked his right arm back and jammed it like a missile against Jack's face. Jack stood for a second stunned, but the searing pain from the blow jolted him back to reality.

"Get the hell off my property."

Out of nowhere Jack heard footsteps behind him. He imagined five or six guys coming out of the bushes to jump him. Panicked, he turned to face them. Instead, he saw Katie running up the walk.

"McCallister, are you okay?" she asked, all color draining from her face.

"What the fuck is this kid talking about? What did you tell him, you little bitch?"

Jack could see fear in Katie's eyes. "Let's get outta here," he said.

She looked from Jack to Ray then back to Jack. "Okay."

He grabbed her elbow and led her to Grace's car.

They drove around in silence for at least ten minutes. And though his face hurt like hell, Jack didn't feel like dealing with it at the moment.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing McCallister?" Katie said, breaking the silence.

"You needed help," he began.

"Says who? You? I can take care of myself."

"What he's doing isn't right. You obviously weren't going to tell anyone, so …."

"So you decided to play hero. You know, your life would be a lot less complicated if you weren't always trying to save people."

Jack said nothing. Of course she was right. But something in him wouldn't allow him to just stand by while some injustice took place. It was as if some mystical force controlled him and he was powerless to stop it.

Again, silence took over the car. They sat, each sequestered in their own little world. Then suddenly, Katie touched his face. Reflexively, he jerked his head away, more from not wanting to be touched, than the soreness of his cheek.

"Stop the car," she said softly. His first impulse was to argue, but he didn't have the strength, so he pulled into the parking lot of the 7-Eleven. "Jack," Katie said as she turned his head towards her, "I don't need you to take care of me."

Isn't that what a boyfriend is supposed to do, he asked himself. But he and Katie weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. They were two people who hooked up a lot. Well he couldn't continue like this. It was all or nothing. He wasn't wired for this 'friends with benefits' shit. "Look Katie. I can't go on like this."

Her heart sank.

Had she finally managed to push him away? Sure she didn't want him feeling sorry for her or looking down on her, but she hadn't wanted him to leave her alone either. Be that as it may, she'd be damned if she asked him to stay. "Fine. I won't be bothering you again, McCallister." She reached for the door handle. Like a light, Jack's arm shot out and he grabbed hers.

"That's not what I meant. Katie," he began then stopped. A look of anguish clouded his face as he ran his hand through his hair. "I want us to be more. Maybe we could, you know." His voice trailed off.

Katie drew a deep breath and held it for a second. She'd dreamed of this moment since sitting behind him in English class freshman year. Never in a million years did she actually think Jack McCallister would ask her to be his girl. "Look McCallister, I don't need a pity boyfriend."

"That's not why I'm asking you," he said as he grabbed her hands. They were small compared to his. And while his nails were jagged from biting them, hers were smooth and shapely and painted pale pink. "I like you."

Euphoria mixed with fear gripped Katie. She wasn't sure she was good enough for him. But she did know she was tired of being alone. Plus, he seemed to want her and she most definitely wanted him.

"You have a deal McCallister, but only on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You need to loosen up."

Jack cracked a smile. He hadn't been "loose" since he was ten years old.

"Fine, but you're going to have to help me with that."

"Oh, I plan to," she replied with a brazen smile.

"Now I need you to do something for me."

"What?" Katie asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You're going to have to trust me."

Her arms dropped.

She'd never really trusted anyone before, especially a guy someone. But there was something about Jack that made her feel safe. Could she learn to trust him? She didn't know, but she was willing to try.

"Okay," she said softly.

"Good," he said as he leaned in close to her, placing her arms back around his neck.

"Good," she said then gently brushed his lips with hers.


	6. Chapter 6

A few months had passed since Katie had promised to trust Jack McCallister, and a lot had happened during that time. She'd finally told her mother about Ray. It had happened on a cold, grey day in an empty McDonald's parking lot. The smell of French fries and hamburgers, mustard and catsup mingled with the stale heat that filled her mother's tiny car. There had been shock, grief, and lots of tears. She'd been afraid her mother would blame her, curse her, or worse, kick her out of the house. Instead Cheryl immediately drove her to the police station where Katie filed a report. Afterwards, they drove around Hart waiting for Ray to be arrested. While he sat in jail, they rushed home, shoving everything they could into bags. This time though, they had somewhere to go. Unbeknownst to Katie, her mother had joined one of those 'change your life' support groups and Diane, one of the women from the group, had offered them a place to stay. Later that evening, the police called to say Ray had been released on bail. When her mother returned home a few days later to pick up the rest of their stuff, she'd found the house in shambles. Ray and his things were gone. The Hart Police Department was still looking for him. Apparently, she wasn't the only child he'd tried to molest. He was wanted in Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio on similar charges.

Today, however, was not a day to think about such things. Today was a crisp, sunny, fifty degree day. Light streamed through the braches of the tree Jack and Katie stood under, creating dancing shadows on the ground.

"Close your eyes and just lean back," Jack said.

"No way McCallister."

"C'mon, you trust me don't you?"

"That's not the point," she said smiling at him. She felt like an idiot, but a happy one. For the first time in her life, things were going relatively well. She did trust him, but the thought of crossing her arms over her chest, falling back, and hoping he would be able to catch her before she hit the ground was stupid.

"Coach used to make us do this every year at the beginning of track season. It's supposed to foster team solidarity."

"I'm still not doing it," she said giggling and shaking her head. He reached for her. She dodged him playfully. After a few misses, he grabbed her wrist and drew her close in an attempt to tickle her.

* * *

Missy Belknap was on the verge of tears. Though she was surrounded by a group of perky cheerleaders, she felt completely alone. The reason stood under a tree next to the school parking lot. It was official; Jack and 'what's her name' were a couple.

Sure she'd been the one to break up with him, but he'd given her no choice. He'd been in such a funk after his accident that things had disintegrated between them.

But now, now she wanted him back.

She watched as Jack bent down to kiss Katie. She knew she should look away, and though it felt as if a thousand arrows were piercing her heart, she was like a passerby who couldn't look away from a terrible accident. Just when she thought she couldn't stand another second, Jack gave Katie one final kiss on the cheek, then walked across the parking lot.

Missy excused herself. Jack used to have gym this period but after he'd blown out his knee, the Phys Ed department had excused him from all physical activity. Now, he spent that time in the library as a study period. Missy watched and followed as Jack reentered the school, then headed toward the library, maneuvering his way to a table in the back near the stacks.

After waiting a few minutes, she slid into the chair next to him. "Jack."

"Miss," he said startled. An uncomfortable silence filled the air. They hadn't really talked since the break up. They'd seen each other a few times at JR's, but his work and her friends had acted as a buffer between them.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Instinctively, she wanted to touch him, to be touched by him, in an intimate way but now that they were no longer together, she couldn't.

"So," Jack said letting the word out in a long breath.

"Jack," Missy began. What the hell, she thought as she grabbed his hands. "We need to talk."

A look of unease flashed across his face. "Okay."

Missy breathed deeply. Lord, please forgive me for what I am about to do, she silently prayed. "Jack." She stopped. "Jack," she tried again as she squeezed his hands. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" he asked shocked. Missy? Pregnant?

"At first I thought it was the flu. Then I realized my period was late. Well, I counted back, and everything pointed to the last time we, you know," she said lowering her voice and her eyes.

There must be some mistake, Jack thought. Missy. Pregnant with my baby. This can't be happening. "Have you seen to a doctor?" he asked.

"No," she replied quickly. "I took one of those home pregnancy tests. What are we going to do Jack?" she asked as her eyes filled with tears. She'd learned at an early age that a few well-timed tears worked wonders, especially with men. The key was to use them sparingly.

Missy watched as a myriad of emotions flashed across Jack's face. She wasn't worried though. She knew he would do the honorable thing. "Please don't leave me Jack," she added for good measure. "I don't know what my father will do once he finds out. I'm so scared." Missy threw herself against Jack's chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Hesitantly, Jack put his arms around her and began stroking her hair. Oh god, oh god, oh god, his mind screamed. What do I do know?

Could things possible get any worse?

* * *

Three days had passed since she'd told Jack about the baby. Their baby. Even though they weren't lovey dovey yet, she was sure it would only be a matter of time. Jack would want to be involved with their child's life and if that meant being with her then he'd do it. Phase two of her plan had gone off without a hitch. They'd told her parents. And as expected, her father had hit the roof. He'd called her a whore, a tramp, a Jezebel. Jack and his mother had been horrified, so much so that they'd insisted she stay at their house.

Now it was time for Phase Three. As she rifled through her locker, Missy couldn't help noticing Katie at her own locker down the hall. Dear God, please give me an opening, she said under her breath as she scanned the hallway. As if on cue, Katie gathered her things and headed toward the washroom just as Jessica, a fellow cheerleader and a total gossip, was heading down the hallway. Immediately, Missy slammed her locker shut and rushed at Jessica.

"We need to talk," Missy said grabbing the short blonde girl's arm and dragging her into the washroom.

"What's going on Miss?" Jessica asked breathlessly.

Missy inspected the bathroom. She could tell that Katie was in the last stall; otherwise she and Jessica were alone. "Swear to me you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

"I swear," Jessica said, her eyes lighting up. Missy knew Jessica's promise meant nothing. Jessica McDonald was Truman High's own CNN.

"I'm serious Jess. No one can know about this."

"C'mon Missy, you know you can trust me."

"Okay," Missy said slowly. "I'm pregnant."

"Shut up," Jessica squealed.

"Geez Jess, you're supposed to being keeping this quiet."

"Sorry," the other girl said lowering her voice. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I went to a clinic in Columbia."

"Oh my god! Who's the father?"

"Jack."

"Jack! Jack McCallister!"

"Yes. Jack and I are getting married and we're having a baby."


	7. Chapter 7

Katie held her breath and sat stock still as she waited for the two girls to leave.

Missy Belknap, pregnant with Jack's baby. What a load of crap, she thought as she opened the stall door. She always knew Missy was pathetic, but this was ridiculous. Melissa had had her chance to be with Jack, now it was her turn, and no amount of desperate conniving would come between them.

As soon as the school day ended, Katie rushed to the parking lot to meet Jack. When she saw him, she sighed. He was leaning against her mother's car, the light reflecting off the driver's side mirror bathing him in a warm glow. He was wearing jeans and that brown, worn corduroy jacket she liked. Just looking at him, she could imagine his smell – clean and fresh. No doubt about it, she was in love. Not the giggly, girly kind of love, but the kind borne of knowing he was someone she could trust.

She strode across the parking lot, a smile playing on her face, finally stopping in front of him.

"Hey," she said as she put her hands confidently around his neck, lifting her head to kiss him.

Though he kissed her back, she could tell something was wrong. A thought nibbled at her consciousness but she pushed it away.

"You won't believe what I heard in the girls' washroom today. You're going to love this."

"What?" he asked anxiously.

"Apparently congratulations are in order."

"Congratulations?"

"On the baby."

Katie watched as the color drained from his face. Between the sweating, lip licking, and shifting from foot to foot that followed, she thought he was going to pass out.

"So it's true," she said, disbelief washing over her.

Then, she threw up.

The cheeseburger and fries she'd eaten for lunch splattered onto the salt stained asphalt. Her throat burned as she choked on her own vomit. This discomfort, however, was nothing compared to the pain she felt emotionally.

"Katie," Jack said, bending down to help her.

"Don't fucking touch me."

He stepped back, unsure of what to do, waiting for it to end. At last she stopped. Bent over, her hands on her knees, she tried to collect herself.

"I was going to tell you," he said after a few minutes.

"When were you going to tell me?" Katie asked, straightening.

"I just found out. I still …." His voice trailed off.

She wanted to hate him, to beat the shit out of him even. He'd gotten her to trust him, something no guy had ever done before. Like an idiot, she'd let her defenses down and in the end he'd sucker punched her.

"Whatever. It's over," she said.

"What?"

"You heard me. You and Missy are going to have a baby together. Where do I fit in?"

He said nothing.

"Exactly."

* * *

Jack tossed and turned, the blanket covering him falling to the floor. He was having that dream again, the one where he was drowning. He didn't have to be Freud to know that it was because of Missy. Missy and the baby. His baby.

Sweating, he turned again, landing with a thud on the floor.

It took him a minute to wake up. At first, he was disoriented, then the pain hit.

Oh fuck, he thought grabbing his knee. After a few minutes, he just gave up and lay on the floor. He watched the sun, shining through the slits in the Venetian blinds, highlight the dust in the air. Then it landed on the faded and worn couch cover with its Native American embroidery. Under the sofa, dust bunnies sat on top of the horrible beige carpeting that covered the floor.

Next, he stared at the dingy off white ceiling with its brown peeling patches. Water stains. Tomorrow, he'd have to call a roofer to patch them up.

Suddenly, he heard someone bounding down the stairs.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Bobby asked, breaking his reverie. Jack looked up. It was odd looking up at Bobby who was a foot and a half shorter than he was and upside down to boot.

"Nothing," he said harshly, far harsher than he'd meant to. He knew he was unfairly hard on Bobby at times. He was just so angry and overwhelmed sometimes that if he didn't lash out, he'd explode. It certainly wasn't Bobby's fault that their mother was an egomaniacal, self-righteous pothead, or that their father had walked out on them after Bobby was born, or that he'd gotten Missy pregnant, or that the girl he had been falling in love with refused to have anything to do with him.

"If you need anything," Bobby said shrugging before turning and leaving the room.

Jack grunted as he slowly sat up. Rubbing his knee again, he heard a second pair of footsteps coming down the stairs. Missy. His mother simply wasn't that energetic in the morning. A second later, she appeared in the doorway.

"What are you doing on the floor?" she asked with a small laugh. She was dressed in a frilly white cotton sleeveless top and matching shorts despite the cold outside.

"Nothing," he said as he hauled himself up. He winced, pain shooting through his knee.

"You okay?" Missy asked, stepping to him and putting her arms around his waist in an attempt to hold him up.

"Fine," he said, sitting down on the sofa.

She sat next to him. "I was thinking Jack; maybe we could go out this weekend."

"Huh."

"C'mon. I'm tired of hiding," she said, running her hand along his arm.

"I have to work," he said standing up; anything to break contact.

He didn't love her. And the fact that they were having this baby didn't change that. So what now? He'd been haunted by that question ever since she'd told him.

For the past week, she'd been coming on to him. And knowing how he felt, he still couldn't bring himself to tell her to stop. To make matters worse, for all intents and purposes, they were now "living" together and Missy didn't seem to be making plans to leave anytime soon. He just didn't know how to navigate a relationship with her. All he knew was that they were having a baby. And though at sixteen, he knew he wasn't ready to be a father, he wasn't going to leave her like his father left him and Bobby.

"You work too hard Jack," Missy said, standing. After closing the distance between them, she put her hands on his shoulders and began massaging them.

"Miss, we need to start saving for the baby."

"I know," she said laying her head against his back and dropping her arms to his waist drawing him closer to her. "But we're allowed some fun. We need time to reconnect before the baby is born."

"Jack, I need you to …," a voice said from the doorway. He and Missy pulled apart, his mother's presence like a scorching cattle prod.

"Hi Ms. McCallister," Missy said looking down.

"Missy. Jack," Grace said, a concerned look on her face. "I need you to stop by the store and pick up some milk and eggs. Okay?"

"Sure," Jack said, for once thankful for his mother's intrusion. "I'll leave now." Sidestepping Missy, he gathered the bedding from the floor and the couch. Then he pushed past his mother and headed upstairs to shower.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has or continues to read this story especially Christie, narcolover, and elsewhere405. Hopefully, the WB will release the series on DVD soon but in the meantime, cheers to Kerri Lynn Pratt (Missy) who recently guest starred on House and Logan (Bobby) who is currently starring in the movie Hoot.

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Courtney Benedict scanned JR's as soon as she came through the door. Jack had left her a message to meet him here and from the sound of his voice, she could tell it was urgent.

She had no idea what he wanted to talk to her about, but what she did know was that Katie seemed out of the picture. She hadn't seen them together for the past week. And as stupid as it was, she couldn't help wishing that finally it was her turn to be with him.

On this particular night, JR's was busy, but not overly crowded. And though she saw a few kids from Truman, most of the customers were students from the university. Mr. Ride's strong black coffee, it seems, was legendary around campus for getting one through those tough all-nighters.

At last, she saw him wiping down the counter near the kitchen, talking to Marcus. A second later, he caught her eye and smiled, then they both joined her in the booth where she sat.

Her heart dropped. If Marcus was joining them, Jack obviously wasn't about to confess his "undying love" for her.

"Hey," Jack said sliding into the seat across from her as Marcus sat next to her. "I'm glad you guys could make it. I only have a few minutes. I suppose you've heard the rumors."

She had. Jessica McDonald had seen to that, but she didn't put much stock in anything she said.

"What rumors?" Marcus asked, looking from one to the other.

"Apparently Missy is pregnant," Courtney replied with a smile.

"What?" Marcus exclaimed then started laughing. "Where do people come up with this stuff?"

Her eyes trained on Jack, Courtney soon realized that he didn't find the rumors as funny as she and Marcus did.

"It's true," he said.

What, Courtney thought, struggling to grasp the situation. The rumors were true. Missy really was pregnant … with Jack's baby. Suddenly she felt light headed. Breathe, she silently screamed to herself, breathe.

"Huh," Marcus said looking as if he'd been sucker punched.

Not again, she thought. Every time it seemed as if she and Jack were about to get together, something always, always got in the way.

"Miss is pregnant," Jack said softly.

"When did this happen?" Marcus asked.

"I found out a week ago. She went to a clinic in Columbia."

"Are you sure?" Marcus said leaning forward.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Are you sure she's not making it up. Missy's the type to want what she can't have. She breaks up with you, you hook up with Katie, and now she's pregnant."

"She went to the clinic."

"No, she said she went to the clinic. You didn't actually go with her, did you?"

"No, but …."

"So she could be lying."

"Missy wouldn't do something like that, she couldn't. Look I know you mean well Marcus," Jack said tightly.

"Whatever."

"I really need to get back to work," Jack said rising, defeat in his voice. "I'll see you later." He slid out of the booth, went back to the counter, and began filling the salt shakers.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Marcus turned to Courtney and said, "Please tell me I'm not the only one who knows this is a crock of shit."

She shrugged. "You heard Jack. He thinks she's telling the truth."

"Jack has been my best friend since we were thirteen. I can't just sit by and let Missy Belknap get away with this. Are you with me?"

Courtney hesitated. How could Marcus be so sure Missy wasn't telling the truth? "If she's not really pregnant, how could we prove it? And what if she's telling the truth? We'll both look like asses."

Marcus leaned back in the booth, his hands behind his head. "Don't ask me how I know; maybe it's being around Missy all these years, but she's lying. To be honest, I never understood what Jack saw in her."

Courtney hadn't been able to see it either, but some would say she was a bit biased. "Well Matlock, do you have a plan?"

"Not really. Maybe you could talk to her."

"Me! Missy's not going to tell me anything."

"What about girl talk?"

"Marcus …."

"Do it for Jack."

She sighed. "Fine. But she's not going to tell me anything."

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Though she normally looked forward to the end of the school day, today Courtney wished it could have gone on forever. She'd promised Marcus she'd see what she could learn from Missy, but how in god's name was she supposed to ask her if she was lying about being pregnant?

She could see Missy at the other end of the hall rifling through her locker. Sighing, Courtney put on her coat, slammed her locker door shut and made her way down the hall.

Why was she doing this? She was never going to get Jack anyway. She just had to accept that.

"Hey," she said.

"What's up?" the perky cheerleader asked with a smile.

"Nothing much," she began. "Well actually … can we walk home together? I really need to talk to you."

"Sure," Missy said as she slipped into her white winter jacket and closed her locker door. Swinging her bag over her shoulder, she turned to Courtney. "Ready?"

"Yep."

The two girls followed a throng of other students downstairs to the first floor where they exited through a back door. A cool breeze greeted them as soon as they stepped outside. A change was in the air and it wouldn't be long before the stark, grey, dreariness of winter gave way to the budding light of spring. Crossing the teachers' parking lot, neither said a word.

"Well?" Missy asked, finally breaking the silence. "You wanted to talk to me."

"Yeah," Courtney said then loudly cleared her throat. "Ummm, I don't know how to tell you this, but there's this rumor going around."

"Rumor?"

"Uh huh."

"Is it about me and Jack?" Missy asked pointedly.

Courtney nodded.

"Then it's not a rumor."

"What?" Courtney said, stopping and turning to face Missy for added effect.

"I'm pregnant."

"Are you sure?" Courtney blurted out. Missy gave her an irritated look but said nothing. "Stupid question. Sorry. It's just … it's just. I don't know what to say. What are you guys going to do?"

"I guess we'll get married."

"Did Jack say that?"

Missy stopped, her face reddening with annoyance. "What is this about? Why are you asking me all these questions?"

"It's just that this is so surprising," Courtney said breathlessly. Something's wrong, she thought. Like a lighthouse giving off light, Missy was giving off a mass of emotions, the dominant one being fear.

"Yeah, it is."

"It must be overwhelming for you. And Jack. You two are going to be parents."

"I love Jack and he loves me. We'll manage."

"But he's dating Katie."

"Not anymore," Missy said smugly.

"Oh."

"Look, I forgot I'm supposed to stop by Jessica's house," Missy said abruptly. Courtney could see Jessica's house at the end of the street. She still had to walk four blocks in order to get home. "We need to go over some last minute details for the pep squad bake sale."

"Sure. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye," Missy said hurriedly. She turned, then headed down the street towards Jessica's house without waiting for a response.

Courtney continued on her way. Maybe Marcus was on to something after all.

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Missy walked the short distance to Jessica's house, stopping on the sidewalk out front. She turned and watched as Courtney walked towards Maple Street. After waiting a few minutes, she strode pass Jessica's house on her way to the McCallisters.

Her heart beat furiously. What did Courtney know? She had to know something or she wouldn't have asked so many questions. But there was nothing she could do about it now. She had to stick to the plan. Phase one had been a success, Jack was no longer dating what's her name. However, she still needed to convince him that she was good for him; but after talking to Courtney, Missy knew time was running out.

As she let herself into the McCallisters' rambling, cluttered house, Missy prayed that Jack was home alone. She hadn't had a chance to spend any time alone with him since she'd begun staying there.

"Anyone home?" she called out.

Silence.

She climbed the stairs to the second floor. When she reached the landing, she could hear the shower at the end of the hallway. Walking into the guest bedroom where she slept, she put down her bag and pulled off her jacket. Next, she padded down the hall to the bathroom and pushed the door open a crack.

"Jack?"

"Miss? I'll be done in a few minutes."

"No rush. Where is everyone?"

"My mom's teaching one of her feminist classes and Bobby's at Warren's."

"Oh."

She inched out of the bathroom and walked back down the hall to the bedroom. A rush of adrenaline coursed through her. She sat on the edge of the bed, then she stood up. Next, she began to pace. This went on for a few minutes until she got an idea.

After stripping off her clothes, she padded back to the bathroom. Quietly, she opened the door and tiptoed over to the shower. She could just make out Jack's form behind the curtain. Then, she slipped in.

"Jack," she said softly. The mist from the warm shower sprayed over her face and body. She was scared, self-conscious, but a little excited too. She wanted Jack to want her, to think she was beautiful again. Tentatively, she reached out and touched his chest. His skin was soft and smooth from the soap, his chest solidly built. She caught her breath as a jolt of electricity shot through her.

Jack jumped back, shock registering on his face. She pushed on, tracing a line down the center of his chest to his stomach.

"Missy," he said grabbing her hand then dropping it. Without another word, he climbed out of the shower. She watched as he wrapped a faded, worn blue and white striped towel around his waist and left the room.

She stood in the shower, cold air coming in from the open curtain, goose bumps beginning to form over her body, stunned.

At length, she snapped out of her daze and made her way back down the hall to the bedroom. She dried herself then quickly dressed. She climbed into the bed and threw the down comforter over her head.

Hot tears began streaming down her face. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she said to herself. There she'd been naked in front of Jack and he hadn't wanted her.

She laid there trembling as the minutes passed by; the only sound her haggard breathing.

Then she heard a soft knock on the door.

"Missy," Jack called. "Miss."

She said nothing, hoping he would go away.

Instead, she heard the door open and Jack cross the room.

"Missy," he said sitting on the bed. A few seconds later, he put his hand on her shoulder. "Missy."

She refused to speak.

He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I never meant to give you the impression …."

"Go away Jack," she finally said, her voice trembling.

"I …. I should have said something sooner."

Seconds passed without either saying a word.

"Missy," Jack said, pulling the blanket away.

She lay there curled up in a ball, feeling vulnerable and exposed, peeking at him from the space between her arms until finally unable to fight it any longer, she sat up.

Grabbing her hands, Jack said earnestly, "You know I'll always be there for you, right?"

"Yeah," she said turning away.

"Hey," he said touching her cheek. She turned to look at him. "I mean it. I won't let you go through this alone."

"Thanks," she said wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

They sat, with her hands in his, until they heard Bobby coming up the stairs.

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She had to get out. She couldn't stay with the McCallisters, at least not tonight. But she had nowhere to go. She couldn't go home; she couldn't go to any of her friends' homes.

Then suddenly, she thought of Courtney. Sure, they weren't exactly the best of friends, but she was the only one Missy felt she could turn to now.

She got out of bed and walked to the door. She stood listening for sounds in the hall. Hearing nothing, she tiptoed into the hallway and down the stairs. In the downstairs vestibule, she grabbed the cordless phone off the table and snuck back upstairs. Shaking, she dialed Courtney's number.

After the third ring, a male voice said, "Hello?"

"Hello. Mr. Benedict. Hi. This is Missy. Missy Belknap. May I speak with Courtney please?"

"Sure Missy. Hold on a moment." He laid the phone down as he called out to Courtney. A few minutes later, she heard the phone being picked up and Courtney say, "Hello."

"Hi, it's Missy."

"Hey."

"I was wondering if I could crash at your place tonight."

"Something wrong?"

"I can't go into it now, but I really need a place to stay."

"Sure, come on over."

"Thanks."

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Missy was on her way over here! Did she and Jack have a fight? Stop it, Courtney said to herself. They are having a baby and that's that. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. She ran downstairs to find Missy standing outside on the porch.

"Come in."

"Thanks."

Courtney led Missy upstairs to her bedroom where the other girl took off her jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. Except for the Mac, stereo, and some posters of Coldplay, U2, and Alanis Morrissette, Courtney's room looked like something out of a Laura Ashley catalogue, pink wallpaper with pale roses and a bedspread that was French country yellow.

"Soooooooo," Courtney said as she plopped onto her bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Although her dad had set up a cot, Missy sat at the window seat instead. "Not really?" Then after a while, "It's just that I don't know what to do about Jack."

"I thought things were great between you two."

"They are, but … things are just harder than I anticipated."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Missy staring out the window into the night sky and Courtney flipping through a copy of Entertainment Weekly.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Missy said rising.

"Okay."

She went into the bathroom. Courtney could hear the flush of the toilet then running water. Minutes later Missy came out.

"Mind if I turn in early? I've had a really rough day."

"Sure, let me wash up first, then we can both go to bed."

Courtney climbed out of the bed and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She walked up to her sink, grabbed the tube of Neutrogena facial cleanser, and began smoothing it on her face. Then she squirted some Colgate on her toothbrush and began brushing. As she stood looking in the mirror, bobbing her head from side to side, a pink wrapper in the wastebasket next to the sink caught her eye. Spitting out her toothpaste, she bent down and lifted it out of the trash. A tampon! Oh my god, she thought as she covered her mouth with her hand in shock. Marcus was right!

After quickly finishing in the bathroom, she took a deep breath, and opened the door. "I need to talk to you."

"What?" Missy said from the cot. She was stretched out on it, Courtney's mother's homemade quilt up to her chin.

"We need to talk."

"Now?" the blonde girl asked.

"Yes."

Missy sat up.

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By the sound of Courtney's voice, Missy could tell that something was seriously wrong.

"What is it?"

"Why did you lie to Jack about being pregnant?" Courtney demanded.

"What are you talking about?"

"Enough with the lies. I found your tampon wrapper in the garbage."

Missy went white. Fuck. Why didn't I just stuff the wrapper in my pocket? The reason: she hadn't been thinking; throwing it away had been a reflex.

"Do you have any idea what you've done to him?"

"I just … I just wanted him back." Missy's voice trailed off. "I missed him."

"But you were the one who broke up with him."

"I know," she said. "But it was a mistake. I didn't realize how much I loved him."

Courtney turned away in disgust. "Love! You don't know the first thing about love or you wouldn't have done something like this. Marcus was right, you just want what you can't have, you wanted him because he was with Katie."

Marcus. She should have known he'd be involved in this. She'd never much cared for him and she knew the feeling was mutual. She could only imagine what he'd been whispering in Jack's ear about her all these years.

"Coming here was a mistake," Missy said sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the cot. She stuffed her feet into her shoes then stood. She walked across the room to get her jacket when Courtney grabbed her arm and swung her around. Her face was red with anger, her voice raspy and filled with emotion. "You have to tell Jack the truth."

"Let go of me," Missy said wrenching her arm free.

"Either you tell him or I will."

"Mind your own business," Missy said. She turned and rushed out of Courtney's room, down the stairs, and out the front door. Once on the other side, she stared hard at the McCallisters' house across the street. From Courtney's front porch, she could see the light on in Jack's bedroom. When she'd decided to lie to him about the baby all she'd thought about was getting him back. She'd taken it for granted that once they got back together, they'd eventually have sex, and she'd end up pregnant for real.

Instead, Courtney was going to tell Jack the truth and he'd probably never speak to her again. Plus, the whole school would know what a pathetic, desperate, little liar she was.

Oh god, she'd never live this down.


	9. Chapter 9

She couldn't stay where she was, with her back against the Benedicts' front door, but she wasn't ready to face Jack either, so Missy ran. She ran and ran and ran until she ended up at the park.

It was dark and empty, full of eerie shadows that played off the playground equipment and trees. How different it was at night compared to the daytime when children populated it. Taking a breath and pulling her jacket closer to her, Missy sat down on a swing. The minutes ticked away until after a while she found herself thinking about how much easier things had been when she was younger.

She'd spent her days running around, jumping rope, and gossiping with Jessica. Not the vicious gossip they engaged in now, but harmless stuff. Now, love, sex, and lies had entered the picture. At times, she wished she could go back, but of course, she knew she couldn't, she'd grown too much for that.

Sighing, she backed up the swing and pushed herself off. Up, up, up into the air she soared, the cool night breeze ruffling her hair.

"Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done …." She'd been born into a good Christian home. Her father was a minister so she'd been raised with the Word. Yet, she'd succumbed to temptation. And as she'd struggled, she'd watched in horror as her sins started piling up: disobedience, pre-marital sex, lying. How had she strayed so far from her faith?

But more importantly, how could she redeem herself?

She'd have to tell Jack the truth. What she'd done had been deceitful and treacherous. And though it would take a long time for him to forgive her, if he ever did, any hope of things ever being right between them was dependent on her stepping forward, especially before Courtney did. As the night breeze calmed her, she began to see a way out, a pathway to reclaiming her soul. Slowly she rose and began her journey to Jack's house.

Upon reaching his house, she let herself in. With as little sound as possible, she crept up the stairs and down the hall to his room. Softly, she knocked on his door.

"Yeah?"

"It's Missy. Can I come in?"

For a second, he said nothing, then, "Sure."

She opened the door.

In most ways, his room looked like that of a typical sixteen-year-old boy. Clothes, shoes, and CDs cluttered the floor. However, in Jack's room, posters of groups like the White Stripes, the Hives, and the Strokes hung alongside pictures of famous runners she knew nothing about though he'd told her about them: Bruce Jenner, Carl Lewis, Michael Green, and Jesse Owens. His bookshelves, in turn, didn't so much house books as his overflow of track trophies.

"Hey," he said. He sat up in bed, a paperback book in his hand.

"Hi." She closed the door behind her, then leaned against it. She was afraid, more afraid than she'd ever been in her life. She suspected Jack would be angry, devastated, he might even scream bloody murder at her for what she'd done. So be it, there was no turning back now. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay," he said as he laid the book on his lap and looked at her intently.

"I … I," she stammered. She couldn't begin to articulate what she'd done. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I should have told you sooner how I felt."

"No. I'm not talking about what happened this afternoon. Though I'm sorry about that too. Look Jack, I never meant to hurt you. There is absolutely no excuse for what I did; I only hope that one day you can forgive me," she said.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Don't. Don't come near me. Just let me say what I have to say." She caught her breath. "I wasn't thinking straight. I thought that with enough time, you'd see that we belonged together."

"Missy."

"But I see now I was wrong."

He stood, then he crossed the room and stopped in front of her. He reached out his hand and put it on her shoulder.

"I swear that no matter what, I'll be there for you and our baby."

She hunched her shoulders, steeling herself for the firestorm that would sure to follow. "There is no baby," she said softly.

"What?" Jack asked, his grip tightening.

"You're hurting me Jack," she said as she pulled away from him and began pacing the room. "There is no baby," she said louder.

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"I don't understand," he said, his voice trembling.

"I just wanted you back so badly."

No, no, no, he thought. He couldn't have heard her correctly. But the look on her face said it all and the realization of what Missy had done sunk in. She's not pregnant. It was all a lie.

"Get out!"

"Jack."

"Get the fuck out of here." Suddenly he felt sick. Any minute he imagined puking all over the floor. His mouth went dry and metallic. His heart beat furiously in his chest.

A knock sounded at the door.

"Jack, are you okay?" Bobby asked.

"Get out," he screamed again at Missy. "If you don't leave now …."

She opened the door, almost knocking over Bobby in her rush to get out of the room.

"What's wrong with him?" Bobby asked. As he looked into the room, he saw Jack in a corner banging his fist against the wall, a look of utter horror and pain on his face.

"Just leave him alone Bobby," Missy said before turning and rushing downstairs and out the front door.

Why, he thought as the weight of what had just happened washed over him. One lie and in its wake, his life lay in shambles. He fell to the floor, his body shaking with tears.

"Jack?" Bobby asked as he stepped into the room. "Are you okay?"

Jack said nothing as he covered his face with his hands and cried.

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After Missy had left, he'd sat for hours in the middle of the floor in shock. He couldn't believe that this girl he'd once loved, this girl who he'd defended countless times to Marcus and his mother had deceived him the way she had.

Today, however, was a new day.

He had to tell Courtney and Marcus, but they could wait. There was one person who had a right to know now. He didn't know what to expect from her. He could only imagine her either telling him to go to hell or not speaking to him at all.

He had to at least try to get through to her though. She'd changed him. Before she'd come along, he'd been self-absorbed and hadn't realized it, oblivious to the world around him, particularly, the people in it.

Morning classes went by in a blur. Then, lunchtime arrived. He waited by his locker until finally spotting her at the end of the hallway. Quickly, he slammed his locker door shut and made his way down the hall to where she stood.

"Katie."

"Go away McCallister," she said as she shut her locker door and began walking away.

"Look, I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but I really need to talk to you," he said following her. "It's important."

"We have nothing to talk about. In fact, wouldn't your time be better spent talking to the mother of your child?"

"Missy isn't pregnant."

"What?" Katie asked stopping. She turned to face him. "What did you just say?"

"She isn't pregnant; she made it all up."

He watched as she processed this information, a flicker of confusion flashing across her face.

"Whatever," she said as she turned on her heels and continued on her way.

He rushed to catch up to her. "Katie." He grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty classroom. "Listen to me. I'm sorry," he said as he closed the door behind them. "If I could take back everything that has happened, I would. But make no mistake; now that I know she's not pregnant, Missy is definitely out of my life."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because," he said as he drew her to him. "I love you and I want to be with you."

She yanked her hands away and stepped back, shaking her head. "No. It's better this way."

"How can you say that?"

"We're just so different. Besides, I don't want to be some social experiment or cultural experience for you."

"That's not fair. You know how I feel about you." He felt as if he were drowning. The more he tried treading water, the further he sank. He knew she was deliberately making things difficult for him. She was scared shitless and who could blame her but …. "Take a chance."

"What?"

"Take a chance on me, on us. I know how hard this Missy thing has been for you, but I promise I'll make it up to you."

"How?" she asked defiantly, looking him in the eyes.

"I don't know. I'll do anything. Everything. Whatever it takes."

"We've tried already and it didn't work. We don't make sense together, end of story," she said, after which she walked to the door.

As she turned the doorknob, he called out, "Go ahead, walk away. Just don't end up one of those people who are always running from life."

Without saying a word, she opened the door and walked into the hall. All Jack could do was watch her leave, helpless to do anything about it.

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Katie rushed out of the classroom and down the hall to the washroom. After maneuvering around a group of girls at the sink, she hurried into a stall and locked herself inside. With her back against the door, she let the tears she'd been holding in fall.

Why did he have to come back? Why couldn't he have left well enough alone? They'd had their chance, and they simply weren't meant to be.

He'd changed her too, but she wasn't convinced it had been for the better. Before, she'd been better able to handle her emotions. Now, she was just another silly girl who got emotional over some guy - she cared that he thought of her and what he thought of her. With Jack, she'd felt anxious, self-conscious, awkward, happy, pretty, safe … and loved, things she never could have imagined ever feeling.

But he'd let her down, and she couldn't get pass that.


	10. Chapter 10

Every time she turned around, she saw him - in the halls, in the cafeteria, outside of class. Her life was careening out of control, and there seemed no stopping it. And though rumors of Missy's "miscarriage" spread through the school like wildfire, that was little consolation.

The important thing was that she'd made it through the day. But as she stood at her locker putting away her books, a voice from behind her said, "You know he really is a good guy."

She turned and found herself face to face with Courtney Benedict. Though she and the university president's daughter didn't hang in the same circles, Katie had to admit she liked Courtney. The other girl had an easy going manner that seemed to put people at ease.

"Excuse me?"

"Jack. He's one of the good ones. Look Katie, I know your relationship with Jack is none of my business. In fact, I wouldn't blame you if you told me to go to hell, but you're making a big mistake by not giving him another chance. If there's anyone you should be pissed at, it's Missy."

"You're right; it is none of your business," Katie said turning and shoving her geometry book in her locker. She was tired of thinking about Missy, Jack, and their "baby". But … she'd never really talked about it. She couldn't go to her mother with this and her friends would never understand.

"How am I supposed to trust him?" she asked.

"What do you mean? All Jack is guilty of is having a past. And believe me; Missy is definitely in his past."

"But …."

"You're telling me there are things you don't wish you could change."

Katie shifted uncomfortably. Of course, there were.

"Why are you telling me this? I know you like Jack. Why not make a play for him yourself?"

"It's never the right time for us. Besides, he wants you. Call me selfish, but I don't want to be anyone's second choice.

"Look, he's been through a lot this year, and I want him to be happy. You make him happy. I've gotta go, but promise me you'll think about what I said."

"Sure," Katie said, defeat washing over her.

She watched as Courtney walked away. While they'd been talking, the halls of Truman had emptied considerably with only a handful of students remaining. But she wasn't ready to face the world quite yet. So after grabbing her coat, Katie closed her locker door, and leaned against it. Then she slid to the floor.

With her hands in her lap, she thought about what Courtney had said. It made a lot of sense. Punishing Jack because of Missy was unfair. Plus, it said a lot about him that he'd stood by her though doing so had been inconvenient.

And then there was Ray. What other guy would risk getting his ass kicked for her?

Sighing, Katie pushed herself up from the floor and scanned the hall. It was completely empty now. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she quickly ran down the stairs, tugging on her coat as she went.

A cool breeze with a touch of warmth greeted her as soon as she stepped outside but she barely noticed it as she dashed across the parking lot to her mother's car. After starting the engine and flipping on WPSU, the local college radio station, she drove to Jack's house.

But when she arrived, instead of getting out of the car right away, she sat for a while staring at his front door. After a time, she climbed out and strode up the walk.

Nervously, she rang the doorbell.

She could hear footsteps on the other side of the door, and a few seconds later; a thirteen year old boy opened it.

"Yeah?" he asked giving her a quizzical look. He was shorter than Jack but with the same color hair and eyes. He was cute and within a few years, would definitely be a heartbreaker like his brother.

"Hi. You must be Bobby," she said giving him an uneasy smile. "I'm Katie. Is Jack home?" she asked, trying to see around him into the house.

"Sure. Come in."

She stepped into the vestibule, almost knocking over a coat rack in the process. From her vantage point, she could see into the dining room with its large mahogany table covered with term papers.

"Jack," Bobby yelled up the stairs. "Jack."

"What?"

"Katie is here to see you."

For a moment, he said nothing, then "Just a minute." A few seconds later, he appeared on the landing. Slowly he descended the stairs, stopping in front of her.

"Hey."

"Hi."

An awkward silence fell upon the room as Jack, Katie and Bobby stood looking at each other uncomfortably.

"Why don't we go in the living room," Jack said to Katie, ever so slightly tilting his head in Bobby's direction.

"Sure."

She turned and followed him into a room with worn carpet and scarred furniture.

"Do you want to take your coat off?"

"Thanks," she said as she slipped out of it, folding and placing it on the couch as she sat down.

The large circular clock on the wall ticked away as they sat in silence, sneaking peeks at each other out of the corners of their eyes.

"So?" Jack said breaking the silence.

"So," she repeated.

"Any particular reason you dropped by?"

"Look McCallister," she began. "I feel like an idiot.

"A part of me wants to believe you're just another teenage bastard, but I know that's not true. You were right about a lot of stuff and after giving it some thought, if you're still game, I'd ….

"I know I'm not the easiest person to like, but …."

He kissed her. In one fluid motion, he'd leaned in and placed his lips on hers. A warm feeling like hot fudge oozing over cold ice cream spread over her entire body, and just like that, she felt whole, safe, and cared for.

"Whatever it takes," he said breaking contact.

"Whatever it takes."

"Yep."

"Fine."

As he leaned in for another kiss, she raised her hands to his chest, where she could feel his heart beating.

In that moment, his kiss, his touch, his smell, the beat of his heart, left her breathless.

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Author's Note: Well this is it, the end. Thanks to all who took this journey with me.


End file.
